


Post Tournament of Power Interview

by ShadowKingLegette



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Bickering, Gen, Interviews, Questions, comments
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2019-04-07 20:24:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14088969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowKingLegette/pseuds/ShadowKingLegette
Summary: The final 4 Fighters of the Tournament of Power are asked to do an interview.





	1. Chapter 1

After the Tournament of Power was over and the wish was made, Goku, Frieza, Android 17, and Jiren we're asked to do an interview. To which all said yes. 

Backstage, waiting to be called up, the Elite 4 talked amongst themselves.

Goku: This suit is so uncomfortable. I can hardly breathe with this tie on.

Goku wriggled his head around while pulling at the collar of his white undershirt. He was dressed in a business suit, as was 17.

17: Here. Let me see if I can loosen it up a bit.

17 stepped in front of the Saiyan and went work adjusting the tie. When he was done, Goku smiled happily.

Goku: Thanks 17. That feels tons better.

17: Don't mention it.

Leaning against a wall, Frieza thought to himself.

Frieza: (This better not take too long. I have a universe to conquer.)

Jiren was meditating while floating in the air.

One of the assistants came into the room. He wore a baseball cap and a 4 star Dragon Ball t-shirt.

Assistant: Excuse me. Are you gentlemen Son Goku, 17, Jiren the Grey, and Frieza?

Goku: Yep. That's us.

Assistant: It's time for the interview. Just walk up the stairs to the podium and have a seat. Bottled water is already sitting out for you on the table in case your throat gets dry or you become thirsty.

Goku: That's good to know.

Assistant: Any questions, comments, or concerns before going out to address the audience?

Frieza: How many questions do I have to answer before I can leave?

Assistant: Enough so that the community is satisfied.

Frieza: That's not a specific number...

Assistant: I know and I apologise. The guy who's in charge of this shindig told us to say that.

Frieza: Since he can't be specific I don't see a reason to stay after 1 question.

The assistant shrugged.

Assistant: Whatever floats your boat. But I have to warn you not to piss this guy off. 

Frieza raised a brow.

Frieza: And why not?

The assistant looked from left to right suspicious of anyone who might listen in.

Assistant: You didn't hear this from me but the last person who did was locked inside a room for 50 years.

Frieza: Is that supposed to scare me? Being locked in a room for 50 years?

The assistant cleared his throat.

Assistant: Well I said too much and you guys should really be getting out there now.

The assistant hurried off.

Goku: I wonder who he was talking about.

17: Who knows. Regardless we have an interview to attend.

Goku nodded and the group proceeded up the stairs.


	2. Chapter 2

Waltzing out from backstage, Goku, 17, Frieza, and Jiren we're greeted by a room full of people applauding before walking up the podium stairs.

Goku: Whoa! I didn't think there was gonna be this many people.

Jiren: Hmph.

After they made it up the podium, someone with a microphone greeted them. In fact, it was the World's Martial Arts Tournament Announcer. He shook each of their hands one by one.

Announcer: Hey guys. How's it hangin? And long time no see Goku.

Goku: Hi. So you work here too?

Announcer: Just this once. Now if you don't mind, wave to the audience before taking your seats.

Goku and 17 did as instructed. Jiren and Frieza on the other hand simply took a seat without waving first.

Announcer held up the mike to his mouth.

Announcer: Now that the guests of honor are here, we can now start.

The people in the crowd shouted "Pick me" until the announcer pointed to one of them.

Announcer: You there with the Goku Black getup. Who would you have a question for?

GBGuy: My question is for Goku.

Goku: So I'm first. Oh well ask away.

GBGuy: Sure. Out of everybody you fought against from the time Beerus arrived on Earth to this point, who would you say was your favorite opponent?

Goku leaned back in his chair looking up.

Goku: Hm... I guess it would have to say Monaka.

GBGuy raised an eyebrow confused.

GBGuy: ....... What?

Goku: We didn't get to finish our fight but man it was awesome.

17: (Who is Monaka?)

Frieza: (Why do I get the feeling he just said something foolish?)

Jiren simply had his eyes closed and arms folded.

Announcer: Ok... Moving on to the next.

The crowd chanted "Pick me" in unison until the announcer chose another person. This time it was a guy wearing an Iron Man/Toni Stark t-shirt.

Announcer: And who might you want to question?

ToniStarkG: The king of iron fist tournament. The Itachi Uchiha of Dragon Ball Super. The Hardy Boyz long lost brother. My hero Android 17.

Android 17: Those are... Interesting titles you have given me. I'm intrigued to hear what kind of question you came up with.

ToniStarkG: K. So... What kind of training did you do to get so strong?

Android 17: That's simple. Ever since Cell was defeated, I put my body through rigorous training exercises. Some of which includes swimming across the ocean with both hands tied behind my back, climbing up and down mountains using only my pinky finger, and last but not least studying.

ToniStarkG: Studying what?

Android 17: The nature and characteristics of living organisms.

ToniStarkG: So cool...!

Announcer: On to the next one.

The crowd chanted pick me.

Announcer: You there with the pigtails. Who do you have a question for?

The girl had on glasses which she straightened before responding.

PigtailsGirl: Yes um... My question is for 17.

17: (2 in a row?) What is your question?

The girl held up her hands.

PigtailsGirl: Can you um... Sign my gloves?

The crowd laughed. Android 17 simply smirked.

17: Do you have a pen or a marker?

PigtailsGirl: Yes.

17 stood up and hopped over the table into the crowd. Landing in front of the girl, he received the permanent marker. Then after signing his name, he flew back to his seat.

Announcer: Onto the next.

Crowd: Pick me!

Announcer: You there in the sun dress. Who is your pick?

SunDressGirl: 17.

17 raised a brow.

17: (3 in a row...) And what might your question be?

She took something out of her purse. It turns out, it was a phone.

SunDressGirl: Mind taking a picture with me?

Goku nudged him with an elbow.

Goku: Say 17, you're kind of popular.

Ignoring Goku's comment, the Android thought to himself before answering the girl.

17: (This might be just a coincidence.) Sure.

Little did he know... it wasn't.


	3. Chapter 3

Frieza: What kind of game is this!? Just how many of these imbeciles are here for that Android!?

Goku chuckled as Android 17 moved through the crowd, responding to the portion positioned on the right. As it turns out, more than half of them were there for him alone. This was found out by 17 asking them to raise their hand. When the next 4 people after the girl in the sun dress said his name, he figured that it wasn't just a coincidence and took it upon himself to take appropriate measures to find out. After this, he told the ones who were there for him to move to the right and that he would address each of them personally. 

Announcer: Well, since he's dealing with that group, we may as well move on.

The other crowd resumed their two word phrase.

Announcer: You there. The person dressed as an afro skeleton with a top hat.

SkeletonGuy: Yohohohoho! My question is for Frieza.

Frieza: (It's about time. As soon as I answer this I'm gone.) What is your question bone man?

SkeletonGuy: Do you poop?

Caught off guard, Frieza squinted his eyes at SkeletonGuy.

Frieza: ............ What?

SkeletonGuy: Do you poop?

Closing his eyes, Frieza pinched the bridge of his nose.

Frieza: Please tell me Ashton Kutcher is hiding somewhere with a camera crew.

Announcer: I'm sorry but you're not being Punk'd.

Frieza sighed.

Frieza: I thought as much... Just wishful thinking on my part.

Looking at SkeletonGuy again, Frieza asked...

Frieza: What would possess you to ask me a question concerning whether I defecate or not? Did you crack that skull of yours? Or are you low on calcium?

SkeletonGuy chuckled.

SkeletonGuy: No. I'm just curious.

Frieza turned his attention to the Announcer.

Frieza: Do I have to answer that MicrophoneMan?

Announcer: You do sir. No matter how ridiculous or off the wall, a question is still a question.

Focusing on SkeletonGuy again, Frieza responded.

Frieza: Fine. I do actually vacate waste from my body. As does my entire family.

Goku spat out the water he was drinking.

Goku: You do?!

Frieza looked to his nemesis.

Frieza: Of course.

Goku: How?! I mean you walk around naked all the time so I assumed you didn't! Wait, don't tell me you sit down and...!

Frieza: Hold your tongue before you go any further with your absent-minded thought patterns. I will explain how my race void our bowels. Whenever the urgency to vacate waste comes upon us, our tails opens up at the tip and disposes of the fecal matter.

Goku: EWW! Disgusting! You really need to put a diaper on that thing! I can't believe I touched it before! Not counting that one time I bit it!

Frieza: Again with your constant stupidity. My tail doesn't store the waste. It shoots it out from my body. Similar to how a bullet is ejected from the barrel of a gun. Except in my case, no residue is left behind.

Goku rubbed the back of his neck with a smile.

Goku: Oh. For a moment there I thought I would have to bring mouthwash and hand sanitizer in case we ever fought again. Hehe...

Annoyed at Goku, Frieza looked at SkeletonGuy again.

Frieza: Was that answer satisfactory?

SkeletonGuy: Yes it was.

Frieza: Good. Now I'm leaving.

Frieza stood up and headed for the stairs.

Goku: Wait a minute Frieza. I don't think It's a good idea for you to take off. Remember what that guy said backstage?

Frieza: I'm not afraid of some random nobody who may or may not be able to lock me in a room for 50 years.

With that last statement said, Frieza left.


	4. Chapter 4

???: Hm...

A glowing human shaped figure watched a live feed of the interview going on from it's office chair. One other individual in the room stood while watching the feed as well. He had black hair and red eyes. Also, he wore a long black cloak with red clouds, a red interior, and a chin-high collar, in addition to sporting a conical straw hat with small ornamental torques and tassels hanging down. The feed showed an alien being with a long tail leaving a podium.

Man: It would seem you were correct with your assumption of this Frieza creature. How would you like me to handle this?

The glowing being turned it's attention to the man in the cloak.

???: Punishment F.

The man turned and headed for the exit.

???: Oh but give him a warning first ok Itachi?

Itachi gave no indication that he would follow through with that request as he headed out the office.

A minute later, Frieza walked down a hall and made a turn. The exit was a few feet ahead and the tyrant smiled to himself approaching it.

Itachi: Where do you think you're going... Frieza?

Frieza stopped.

Frieza: Not that it is any of your concern but...

Frieza turned to face the man. Then he folded his arms.

Frieza: It is none of your business.

Frieza studied Itachi up and down.

Frieza: Who are you anyway? Big ass collar man?

Itachi: Who I am is of no concern. What I offer is however.

Frieza raised a brow.

Frieza: And that is...?

Itachi: A chance to return to the interview and answer questions like you agreed upon.

Frieza: What if I say no?

Itachi: Face the consequences for breach of contract.

Frieza: Consequences... Who's going to make me pay? You?

Frieza laughed.

Frieza: Please. You're not even in my fighting class. Hahaha!

Itachi: I take it your answer is no.

Frieza: I take it you're not naive after all.

Itachi removed his hat, letting it hang due to a string it was connected to. His eyes were closed.

Itachi: Very well. Prepare to face the consequences.

After that statement, his eyes opened.

Frieza: Show me what you can...

The next thing Frieza knew, he was hanging on a cross in a red and black coated room.

Frieza: What?! How did I...?!

Itachi: That is my doing.

Frieza looked down to see Itachi standing below him.

Frieza: You think you can stop me by hanging me to a cross?

Itachi: By all means, if you can escape, do so.

Frieza motioned to pull himself from his restrains but he couldn't.

Frieza: Grr...!!!

Itachi: Having difficultly?

Frieza: SHUT... YOUR.... ERGGGGHH!!!

Frieza powered up to his Golden Form but it proved to be no use against whatever had him tied down(or tied up?).

After what seemed to be a few minutes, the tyrant gasped for air after stopping his attempts to escape.

Itachi: Now that the gravity of the situation has sunk onto you a bit, allow me to apply a little more pressure.

In the next moment, a long sword appeared in his hand and Itachi stuck the sharp end into Frieza's abdomen.

Frieza: GYAAA!!!

Itachi: I wonder... how much punishment a being of your strength can take within my Tsukuyomi?

Shifting his attention on his torturer, Frieza replied...

Frieza: Tsuku... yomi? AAAAAGGGHHH!!!

That last yell came from Itachi impaling Frieza with another blade.

Itachi: Even if I was inclined to explain it to you, there's nothing you can do about it. Although... I'll share a small detail about the Tsukuyomi.

Two clones of Itachi stepped from behind him holding their own swords.

Itachi: Anyone who isn't an Uchiha cannot possibly hope to escape this prison.

The clones of Itachi pierced Frieza's rib cage on both sides.

Frieza: EYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCKK!!!

Then everything went black for the tyrant of Universe 7. When he came to, he found himself still hanging on the cross with the man standing below.

Itachi: Welcome back.

Frieza: You...! When I get free I'll...!

Itachi raised his sword and stuck Frieza again.

Frieza: Ugh!

Itachi: That won't happen until 50 years pass.

Frieza: W-what?! That's not possi...ble...! You can't keep me prisoner that long!

Itachi: You underestimate my technique.

A dozen clones of Itachi appeared around Frieza in a circle.

Itachi: I can keep you as long as I wish.

Itachi's clones stepped closer to Frieza and inserted the sharp point of their swords into the tyrant's body.

Frieza: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!!!!!??!?!??!??!!???!?!!????!!!!!

Man: Though my employer insists upon a set amount of time.

Frieza: (This isn't happening!)

Itachi: In case you're wondering how much time you have left before your release, you have 49 years, 11 months, 30 days, 23 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds.

Frieza: (ONLY ONE SECOND HAS PASSED!?!) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Chapter 5

At the interview table outside the Tsukuyomi...

Announcer: Ok! Who is next?

The crowd chanted their usual "Pick me" phrase.

Announcer: You there dressed as uh... a cardboard box?

Inside of the crowd was a short person standing under a cube shaped box with two eye holes cut out.

CardboardPerson: Robot! I am a robot!

Announcer: Sorry sir...

CardboardPerson: Incorrect! I am not a person! I am a robot! R-o-b-o-t!

Announcer sweated at the short person's outburst.

Announcer: Uh... My apologies robot.

Robot: Apology accepted. Beeboop.

Goku: Uh... Wierd guy...

Robot: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!? I JUST TOLD U I AM A ROBOT! NOT A GUY OR A GAL! A RO-BOT!!! A FREAKING ROBOT!!!!

The crowd around the "Robot" backed away from it. Even Goku was intimidated by it's anger.

Goku: Oh um... My bad Robot.

Robot: All is forgiven. Beeboop.

Announcer decided to move things along before anyone else pissed Robot off again.

Announcer: So... who do you have a question for?

Robot: Jiren.

Hearing the name prompted Jiren to open his eyes.

Robot: Jiren the gray, what did you mean by the saying "I seek that which lies beyond strength"?

Jiren: Hmph. Exactly what I said. I seek that which lies beyond strength.

Robot: Does not compute. Please elaborate.

Jiren: I did.

Robot: Error. Cannot process information. Shutdown imminent.

All of a sudden, Robot went still and became silent. Everyone except Jiren watched it with blank expressions.

Goku: What just happened?

Announcer: I believe Robot couldn't understand Jiren's statement so it ceased functioning.

Goku scratched the side of his head.

Goku: So is he sleeping or dead?

Robot: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD!!!!!!

Everyone: !!!!

Robot hopped up into the air, then landed on top of the table in front of Goku and grabbed him by the shirt with it's cardboard claws.

Robot: I AM A ROBOT YOU RETARD!!! NOT A HE! NOT A SHE! NOT A GUY! NOT A GAL! A ROBOT!!! R-O-B-O-T!!! R-O-B-O-T!!! R-O-B-O-TEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goku sweated as the fiery eyes of Robot stared daggers at him.

Goku: Uh............

Goku smiled nervously.

Goku: Sorry?

Robot released it's grip on Goku's shirt. Then it pet him on the head a couple of times.

Robot: I forgive you.

Robot turned and hopped back into the crowd.

Announcer: Onto the next pers....

Goku: Hold on a second!

Goku stood up from his chair.

Announcer: What is it Goku?

Goku pointed at Robot serious as a heart attack.

Goku: Robot didn't say Beeboop that time.

Robot started sweating.

Robot: (Crap!)

Everyone was now focused on Robot.

CrowdPerson1: You know... He's absolutely right.

CrowdPerson2: I'm starting to think Robot isn't really a robot...

The murmuring continued as Robot remained silent.

Robot: (I have to think of something fast!)

Robot pressed a round red button on it's face.

Robot: Self-Destruct sequence initiated.

Crowd: Oh no!

Everyone backed away from it.

Robot: T-minus 10... 9... 8... 7...

Goku: I have to get Robot out of here away from all these people!

Robot: 6... 5... 4...

Goku used Instant Transmission to teleport to Robot before placing a hand on it's flat top. Then the two vanished. The two appeared on King Kai's planet moments later.

King Kai: Seriously Goku!? You're gonna pull this crap again!?

Robot fell to the ground due to the intense gravity.

Robot: 3... 2... 1

Goku: You can cut the act. I know you're not really a robot.

Robot: ............ Ok. You got me Goku.

King Kai: Huh?

The Robot pulled off the cardboard box to reveal a small purple looking substance with dots for eyes and a long curved mouth. Goku raised his brows staring at the creature.

Goku: What are you anyway?

Ditto: I'm a Pokemon called Ditto.

King Kai: Pardon my rudeness but why is a Ditto at a Dragon Ball Interview?

Ditto sighed heavily.

Ditto: Just because I'm a Pokemon I can't like and do other non-pokemon related stuff? How would you feel if I asked you why do you have car on this small chunk of rock?

King Kai: ...

Goku: Ok... So why did you pretend to be a robot?

Ditto looked down at the ground with a frown.

Ditto: I... didn't want people to treat me like an animal.

Goku bent over a little.

Goku: What do you mean?

Ditto sniffed with glistening eyes.

Ditto: Where I come from, people like to use Pokemon like me to do... Horrible things.

Ditto shook the dark thoughts out of it's head shivering.

Ditto: So I left and pretended to be a robot in order to escape capture.

King Kai: (No doubt about it. Pokemon Trainers use Ditto mostly for reproduction. A cold purpose indeed.)

Goku: You were afraid huh?

Ditto nodded.

Goku: Hey King Kai. Can we talk in private for a second?

King Kai nodded and the two went in the house.

King Kai: What is it Goku?

Goku: Do you mind letting the little guy stay with you?

King Kai: WHAT?!!!!!

Goku put his hands together and lowered his head.

Goku: I know its a huge favor to ask but can you please do this?

King Kai: No! Absolutely not! Why don't you take him home with you!?

Goku folded his arms and frowned.

Goku: I would but ChiChi doesn't allow pets or animals at our house. Besides, Ditto would be much safer here than on Earth.

King Kai rubbed his chin mulling it over.

Goku: I promise to check in on him every now and then if you do.

King Kai looked out the window to see Ditto and Bubbles getting aquatinted with one another. Then Ditto used transform to look like the monkey which startled Bubbles a great deal.

King Kai: Ok Goku. Ditto can stay.

Goku: Thanks. I'll go tell him the good news.

Goku ran out the door over to the Pokemon.

Goku: Hey Ditto.

Ditto turned back to it's regular self.

Goku: I have some great news. Me and King Kai talked it over and decided that you can stay here. That way nobody would try to capture you ever again.

Ditto's eyes twinkled at Goku's news.

Ditto: Y-you mean it?

Goku: Yep. But it's up to you.

A tear or two cascaded down Ditto's face.

Ditto: Thank you Goku!!!

Somehow the Pokemon hopped off the ground and hugged Goku's face. Goku muffled "Can't breathe! Let go!" as he ran around the small planet panicking.

King Kai watched the scene as he came out the house.

King Kai: (I wonder how that Ditto learned to speak English?)


	6. Chapter 6

Itachi stood over Frieza's unconscious body after the Tsukuyomi was complete. He tapped the earpiece inside his ear.

Itachi: Send 2 to escort the target 'there'.

A minute later, two assistants wearing black caps, dark shades, black jackets, blue jeans, and black dress shoes dragged Frieza by his arms to an undisclosed location.

With his objective complete, Itachi returned to his employer's office. When he made it to the door, out stepped a purple colored being with a long tail.

???: Pleasure to meet your acquaintance Itachi.

Itachi: ...

???: Not in the mood for pleasantries? Very well, I can take the hint.

With that the being left. Itachi moved into the office right after.

Meanwhile at the interview, Goku had just appeared on the podium via instant transmission.

Announcer: You're back Goku! You were gone for so long I assumed the worse! So what happened?

Goku rubbed the back of his neck.

Goku: Oh uh... I had to make sure Di... I mean Robot was deactivated.

Announcer: I see. Well thanks for saving us.

Goku sat down in his seat.

Announcer: Who wants to be next to ask a question?

Crowd: Pick me!!!

The announcer looked from left to right and pointed to...

Announcer: Cat Girl. Who do you have a question for?

The girl had two white cat ears on top of her head in addition to her regular ones while also sporting a long fluffy tail, sharp long nails and a skimpy outfit that left little to the imagination.

CatGirl: Ni-yaa! Frieza.

Announcer: Oh... Sorry but Frieza has left. You will have to pick someone else.

She pouted while licking the back of her hand.

CatGirl: Ni-yoo! I want Frieza.

Announcer: I wish I could help but...

She jumped up into the air and performed 3 flips before landing gracefully in front of the Announcer.

Goku: Incredible...!

She leaned in close to his face with a wicked smile on hers.

CatGirl: Ni-yow! Fetch Frieza for me.

Announcer: I uh... don't know where...

CatGirl: Ni... Ni... Ni...Yaa. I... want... Frie-za!

All of a sudden the CatGirl slashed his face with her claws leaving red lines.

Announcer: My face!!!

The Announcer covered his face with both hands as he stumbled around.

Announcer: I can't believe you've defaced this national treasure! 

Goku: That wasn't very nice...

CatGirl turned to look at Goku and showed him her claws.

CatGirl: Ni-yuh? Say something Saiyan?

Goku shook his head quickly.

Goku: Nevermind!

She turned back to the Announcer and pointed a finger at him.

CatGirl: Ni-you. I came a long way to have my question answered by Frieza. Until he does answer it, I will play with you.

She pounced like a lion and then surprisingly took the Announcer down.

Announcer: Ahh!!!

CatGirl: Ni-ya? No muscle? Well I guess I will just have to make due...

The CatGirl dug her claws into her prey.

Announcer: Ouch!

Goku flinched.

Goku: Oooh... That had to hurt.

CatGirl: Ni-haaaa! This spot looks tender.

Announcer: No not... YEOW!!!

The Announcer held his rump flying into the air. The CatGirl tapped her temple smiling devilishly.

CatGirl: Ni-ooooh. Such a reaction after playing for less than a minute? Pit-i-ful.

Announcer landed on his feet rubbing his behind.

CatGirl: Ni-youuuuu.

Announcer turned his head slowly while shaking. CatGirl winked at him with a sinister smirk.

CatGirl: Ready for round two?

Announcer backed away.

CatGirl: Ni-aww...

???: What have we here?

Everyone turned their attention to the stairs. A purple being stepped off the stairs looking around.

Goku: Cooler?!

Cooler's eyes shifted to Son for a few seconds before he made his way over to the Announcer.

Announcer: Can I help you?

Cooler: Your boss called me in to substitute for my brother.

Announcer: Ok. Then you will have to answer CatGirl first.

Cooler shifted his attention to CatGirl.

Cooler: I believe you have a question intended for Frieza. He won't be joining us for some time. Instead I will take his place. And don't worry, I know practically everything about him.

CatGirl smiled cheerfully.

CatGirl: Ni-oook. My question is... Can I... Lick the top of your head 3 times?

Cooler stared at her seriously.

Goku: Uh...

Announcer: (She put me through hell... just to lick Frieza's head?!)

Cooler raised a finger and pointed it at her. A small light flickered at the tip. The CatGirl's face went pale.

Cooler: If I were Frieza... this would be his response to your question.

Cooler raised his finger high and a Death Beam pierced through the ceiling overhead. CatGirl fidgeted uncontrollably.

Cooler: You my dear feline friend would be dead.

The crowd was silent. Clearly they all thought they were safe coming to this interview. Apparently they were wrong.

Cooler: And just so I'm clear. His answer would have been no.


	7. Chapter 7

CatGirl stood there frozen in fear after Cooler had demonstrated the practical (or impractical?) use of a death beam that would have no doubt killed her if the person in front of her was Frieza instead of his brother.

The announcer walked over.

Announcer: Are you ok CatGirl?

Announcer waved a hand in front of her face to get her attention but CatGirl didn't respond or move.

Cooler: I think you should have someone escort this mentally scarred young woman off stage Announcer. After all, her life just flashed before her very eyes.

Announcer nodded and talked into his earpiece. A few moments later, a lady with pink hair wearing a nurse's outfit guided CatGirl off the stage by the hand.

NurseLady: There there. It's going to be alright.

Announcer: I hope she recovers but still we have to continue with this Q&A. Alrighty then, who's next?

The crowd chanted their "pick me" slogan. Announcer scanned the crowd from left to right and pointed.

Announcer: Go ahead DogMan!

Inuyasha: My name isn't DogMan you numbskull. It's Inuyasha.

Announcer: Sir, I was trying to be ambiguous with the identity of our audience members. It's part of the conditions of the contract I signed to work here.

Inuyasha picked the inside of his ear with a pinky and flicked the ear matter away.

Inuyasha: Yeah yeah whatever. Anyway, aren't you supposed to ask me who I have a question for?

Announcer: Yes uh... right. So who is it then?

Inuyasha: Goku.

Goku: My turn again huh? Alright, fire when ready.

Inuyasha: What I wanna know is why in the hell you guys chose Frieza to be on your team in the Tournament of Power over Cell? And don't give me no crap like he was hard to draw or some sh!t.

Goku scratched the side of his head.

Goku: Well... Frieza was a lot stronger than Cell so it made more sense to pick him.

Inuyasha: No, it doesn't. You guys could have trained up Cell in the Hyperbolic Time Chamber and he would have came out a lot stronger than Frieza. Case in point, he has the cells of some of the best fighters in Universe 7 including you and Frieza, so his power would have been leagues ahead of anyone else's. Admit it, you guys are a bunch of idiots.

???: Sit boy!

All of a sudden, Inuyasha felt a heavy tug around his neck and he fell flat to the floor.

Inuyasha: Agh! Goddammit Kagome! Why in the hell did you have to do that for!

A young lady wearing a Japanese High School girl's uniform walked over to the floored Inuyasha and bowed in Goku's direction.

Kagome: I apologise for Inuyasha's rude behavior.

Goku: Oh... Its ok.

Kagome reached down and grabbed Inuyasha by one of his ears, which caused the half demon slash half human to cry out as he rose from the floor. Then, she led him through the crowd to an exit. Everyone could still here Inuyasha fussing with her.

Inuyasha: Geez, let go of me already!

Kagome: I can't leave you alone; not even for a second.

Inuyasha: I was doing fine! Ow! Don't pull so damn hard!

Kagome: No, you were being a rude jerk!

Inuyasha: All I did was state an obvious fact! It's not my fault if they're a bunch of idiots! OOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!

Kagome had tugged on his ear much harder than before to the point where it felt like Inuyasha's ear was about to rip clean off of his head.

When they were gone, the Announcer commented...

Announcer: So that happened and now we're moving on.

The crowd resumed they're "pick me" chant and the Announcer picked someone right away.

Announcer: You there uh... Bald kid with the arrow tattoo holding the walking stick. Who do you have a question for?

BaldKid: This isn't a stick. It's my glider.

Announcer: My apologise.

BaldKid: That's ok. Well anyway, my question is for Jiren.

Announcer turned to Jiren.

Announcer: You heard the man... er kid.

Jiren's gaze set on BaldKid and the kid's nerves shot through the roof. So he took in a deep breath and exhaled before asking his question.

BaldKid: I noticed that you like to meditate and I was wondering if you knew how to access chakras like me?

Jiren nodded and BaldKid smiled.

BaldKid: Mind giving us a demonstration?

Jiren stood up from his seat and his body became outlined in a strange white light which proceeded to stretch out in front of him to BaldKid.

BaldKid: Whoa...!

Then unexpectedly, the light surrounded BaldKid and he could feel a warm prickling sensation on his body.

BaldKid: Hey hehe... That tickles.

The strange glow faded away and Jiren sat back down.

BaldKid: Thanks. I can tell you're way better than me with chakras.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not everyone in the audience is a character/animal from another work. Some are made up.


End file.
